Letting God Go Before Me

Last Wednesday I did something that I wanted to do for over 2 years, but fear had held me back. I kept putting it off, kept dreaming about it, kept coming close, but never followed through. Finally I asked God to give me the strength and courage to follow through on my ambitions as I clearly didn’t have it in me to do it on my own.

What did I do? I went and did some street photography in downtown Toronto, during the daytime. Why on Earth could that cause me so much fear? Well growing up I went through very difficult times in school, they made me want to disassociate with anything that could be considered strange/weird/odd, like taking photos with vintage film cameras (which is one reason why I did street photography at night). I didn’t want anyone to see me for who I really was on the inside, and always guarded my ego. Which basically meant I let what I thought others thought of me rule my life, and to some extent this still happens. But I am learning to overcome these anxieties through Jesus.

So not only did I go and shoot photos, but I also did my first out-and-about camera review for YouTube (check it out here). It isn’t as great as I would have hoped, but I did it, posted it, and learned from it. Next time I go I hope to pick a bible verse as the theme for my images like I originally planned. One step at a time.

True desire in the heart, that itch that you have whatever it is you want to do, that thing that you want to do to help others and to grow and to make money that desire that itch, that’s God’s proof to you, sent beforehand, already to indicate that it’s yours.
And anything you want good you can have, so claim it, work hard to get it. When you get it, reach back, pull someone else up, each one teach one.

Denzel Washington (Put God First)

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